Stories are also entrancing by their nature. From childhood we have been spellbound by stories of magic and heroic adventure.

Stories have been part of human culture even before written language. Our ancestors sat around a fire, sharing stories about life, learning, community values. This is how the communities were held together.

At the same time that stories are so crucial to us humans, and as they shape our very being, they are also “just stories”. In the presence of a story, we take and leave what we want. We can relate the story to our own individual circumstances, perhaps in a compelling way, but there is nothing forced or imposed. It is this powerful combination of a compelling invitation to relate to the story with an openness to take up the invitation or not that provides such a relevance to the hypnotic experience in particular, and learning and experience in general.

My first meeting with Erickson in 1977 was a three-hour experience where all he did was tell stories. I was enchanted and realised that this approach to therapy had stories at its heart. This left me perplexed because it was clear to me that there were two kinds of people - those that could tell stories and those that couldn’t. I was certain that I was in the latter group.

I read books, attended workshops and suffered until I realised that, if I could identify what was missing for a client, any story where this was also missing … and was found … would be relevant. It was an epiphany and instead of being in a desert totally devoid of stories, there was a flood, and others have found the same.

For the sake of simplicity, I have found it helpful to think of three kinds of stories: early learning, client stories and life stories.

Early learning

When we first begin to learn anything new, we have our own individual ways of beginning to make sense of that experience. If there is any initial struggle, it usually falls away and, before long, we find ourselves making good use of the learning, with ease and even pleasure, with no need to be burdened with the memory of any past difficulty we may have had. Milton Erickson used to say that the learning dropped into the unconscious and we could say that it becomes an automatic learning, not requiring that we even recognise that we are using that learning, even though we are.

An Early Learning story is an indirect form of communication in which a client is invited to recall a childhood experience, or acknowledge that such an experience may have occurred, in which a relevant and desired experience has already been learnt. It can be useful in a general sense to seed the idea of learning itself, and so help to set up the mood of learning in the hypnotic experience. 

Even if a client can’t recall the memory of learning to walk, if they walked into the session, they are demonstrating that this skill has been learnt by them, and if they can’t recall its learning, then there is a strong implication that there are many other skills that have been learnt without the need to recall the experience of learning them either.

It can be helpful, in choosing an early learning story, to ask about the client’s likes. If they like walking, then it will be safe to speak about learning to walk. If they like swimming, then learning to swim will be relevant. Asking about likes avoids the pitfall of talking about learning to do something which has not been learnt, or which may be associated with a trauma. Mentioning learning to swim to someone who almost drowned will be unhelpful, and learning to ride a bike won’t connect with anyone who never learnt that skill.

If a client wanted to overcome anxiety in a performance, they might distinguish the missing experience as confidence in the presence of a potentially critical audience. If the client tells us they like reading, we can safely and usefully speak about the experience of learning letters and numbers. So we might say “When you wanted to learn to write your name, you had to get used to making some mistakes and correcting them. When a stranger came into the room, it may have felt impossible to write your name even though you had just written it by yourself. It didn’t take long before you were feeling very confident about your ability to write your name, no matter who was there, no matter where you were, no matter what the circumstances, because you realised that that ability was within you, and had nothing to do with anything outside yourself. It felt so good to discover that and can feel good now to use that discovery in any way you need to or want to.”

If a client wanted to go to the supermarket without panicking, they might identify the missing experience as a sense of security in previously distressful circumstances. If they enjoy going for walks in the country, we can safely and usefully speak about walking as a relevant skill, which has already been learnt. We might say “When you first learnt to walk, you probably did some falling over. Falling over is an important part of learning to walk for any individual. How did you get past that falling? How did you get past the fear of falling? Did you just forget about it? Did you persist until it became easier? Then you were able to feel secure within yourself, knowing even if you did fall occasionally, you could cope with that, you could handle that with a sense of achievement and accomplishment because everyone has their own ways of overcoming difficulties.”

The use of an early learning story is yet another way that we can work respectfully and coherently with clients, to speak to their competences, since they have already learnt many skills, and evoke the mood of expectancy which can be so delightful as a way of generating change that is fitting and relevant to the individual client. 

Client stories

These have the form of “I had a client not unlike yourself who ... [describe client’s problem] ... and [describe solution]”.

This helps the client to feel less weird - “I’m not the only one” - and also creates the possibility of a resolution. “If they found a solution, maybe I can also.”

Life stories

These are stories where the resource that is missing is found, but instead of relating to another client, they relate to a broader sphere - nature, mythology, a film or book - being even more indirect than a clinical story.

Scientists wanted to use a supercomputer to find the meaning of existence. They gathered data from every possible source – historical, biological, anthropological – having explored every possible avenue. They fed in all this accumulated data, taking many days and nights, sometimes wondering if their task would ever be finished. Finally, when the last bite of information was entered, they set the computations going and left the mega machine to do its work. After what seemed like an eternity, the computer completed its superhuman task and printed out the answer to the problem that had been alluding philosophers from the earliest times. The words appeared on the printout – “That reminds me of a story.”

Stories are an ancient and deep part of humanity. Human beings are deeply embedded in stories and archaic explanations of our place in life and what it all means to humans to be human. Our individual and social identities are constructed and perpetuated in the stories we tell about ourselves and live individually and socially. We are our stories and our stories are us. They give meaning and purpose to our lives.

Choices

“A Native American grandfather tells his young grandson that he has two wolves inside of him, struggling with each other. The first is the wolf of peace, love and kindness. The other wolf is fear, greed and hatred. "Which wolf will win, Grandfather?" asks the young boy. "Whichever one you feed," is the reply.”

This is very different from simply saying that we have a choice about our future. The message is there, but when we listen to the story, we make our own conclusion and don’t feel instructed or preached to about what we should do.

Monsters

A long time ago, before humans walked on the earth, all the animals lived in harmony with one exception. Nose Monster was causing increasing fear because he would walk up to an animal and stick his hard spiky proboscis into their soft underbelly and suck out all their blood, leaving a shrivelled up bag of skin.

Desperate to find a way of protecting themselves from this monster, the other animals called a meeting and coyote was elected to take charge because he was so cunning and clever. Coyote ordered the animals to go into the forest and bring back garlands of prickly bushes and spiky branches. He ordered other animals to cook up two huge vats of blood soup, which he placed, steaming hot in the meeting hut. He organised the animals to decorate the doorway with the garlands of prickles and the spiky branches, and then went looking for Nose Monster.

Before long coyote found Nose Monster, who was looking wide eyed with hunger and wanted to get close to coyote. Coyote told him about the two huge vats of blood soup and offered to escort Nose Monster to the hut. Nose monster was very keen.

In the hut, Nose Monster rushed up to the first vat of steaming blood soup and greedily stuck his spiky proboscis into it, noisily sucked it dry. He looked pleased, and was beginning to feel full, but the other vat was too tempting so he stuck his proboscis into that vat and noisily sucked up every last drop of blood soup. He was so full he could hardly move. He was so bloated, that he could hardly stand. But he was Nose Monster and so, greedy for blood as ever, he turned towards Coyote. “Now it’s your turn,” he said, lunging clumsily at Coyote who deftly stepped aside so that Nose Monster rolled onto his round, bloated stomach. He struggled to get to his feet and lunged at Coyote again, and again Coyote easily stepped aside. Each time Nose Monster lunged, Coyote moved closer and closer to the doorway of the meeting hut until, just as Coyote stepped into the doorway, and Nose Monster feared that his next blood meal might get away, he made a super huge attempt to get Coyote. And his body, hugely bloated with all the blood soup, fell onto the prickles and spikes lining the doorway, and exploded into a million pieces.

And that is how the mosquito came into existence.

Is this story about overcoming fear, dealing with problems before they become large, starting small with any endeavour, finding the right strategy, working together, being realistic, giving up greed, lightening up? It might be about any of these, or a combination, or something totally different. The story is a story, and each individual has the opportunity to remind themselves of anything that is relevant to their individual situation. The speaker might even find out what the story was about after the listener responds.

Creating Possibilities - Indirectly

An adolescent may have been inspired by Superman, Mighty Mouse, or Grace Kelly. 

An adult might be moved by modern heroes, like Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, Stoltenberg, or ancient heroes, like the Buddha, Moses, Jesus, Mohammad, Lao Tzu. Reading stories about these people create the possibility for a listener. Something that may have seemed impossible becomes possible. “If they did it, it must be possible. Perhaps I can do it also.” When we hear the stories of these people, we may change the direction of our own lives. When Mandela spoke of the importance to him of his small patch of garden in prison, anyone listening may spend more time in their garden and feel more gratitude as well.

Leaders are strong leaders by creating strong stories to make sense to their followers. Unfortunately, not all stories are helpful and some of the worst atrocities have happened from atrocious stories about ethnic differences, whether they claim superiority or inferiority.

The Experts - A Sufi Tale

A man thought to be dead was taken by his friends for burial. When the coffin was about to be lowered into the grave, the man suddenly came to life and began to bang on the lid of the coffin.

The coffin was opened; the man sat up. “What are you doing?” he said to the assembled crowd. “I am alive. I am not dead.”

His words were met with stunned silence. Finally, one of the mourners said, “Friend, both the doctors and the priests have certified that you are dead. The experts can hardly be wrong.”

So the lid was screwed on again and he was duly buried.

Wisdom?

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, “Only a little while.” The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish?

The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs. The American then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life."

The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats. Eventually, you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise."

The Mexican fisherman asked, "But, how long will this all take?” To which the American replied, "Fifteen to 20 years."

"But what then?"

The American laughed and said that's the best part. "When the time is right, you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions."

"Millions... Then what?"

The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."