We’ve already seen how respectful and easy it can be to invite someone into a focused, absorbed experience. We know how easy it is when this experience is something that someone likes to do. We’ve also explored how, what's missing for the client, what it is that we are going to look for with them is predictably present in their likes, in something that they like to do. 

This leads to a process where it can be natural, easy and respectful for a client to look within the experience of being focused and absorbed in something that they like and find precisely the resource that is missing in their problem. It’s such a joy to be part of this experience and it still touches me how precise and predictable this connection can be. 

So here is a format, not one that I'm recommending that you use strictly, but rather one that I invite you to practice, to play with, to explore, so that you can make your own variations and spend more time on one part or another, add some extra steps, leave some steps out and make your own version of it. 

Here’s the format that I want to offer so that you can vary from it. 

before hypnosis

Likes? like?

problem? problem?

what’s missing

———————————

during hypnosis

go to likes - focus & absorb then comment

look for missing resource

learn it

bring it to the problem

——————————-

after hypnosis

what’s different?

completing the session

What do you like?

Erickson told me, “When a client comes to see you, they always bring the solution with them, only they don’t know that they bring their solution with them, so have a very nice time talking with clients, helping them to find the solution that they brought with them that they didn’t realise they brought.” When I first heard that, I thought it was charming. I really liked it, but I was left with the dilemma: how do you do that? And since I've been exploring each individual client’s likes that the pieces have started to come together. 

We can begin a session by asking a client, “What do you like to do?” By simply putting that question, clients find themselves, in responding to it, in a resourceful state. Most people like talking about what they like to do and it’s a delight to be with someone who comes in heavy with the problem, and ask them what they like to do and see their eyes start to shine, a smile on their face, a lift in their mood. There's a very different person present, simply in response to that question. We can safely assume that because a client likes something, they must have all the resources that they need right at their fingertips to handle any disruption, any minor hiccups, otherwise they wouldn’t like it. 

If someone, for example, likes cycling, that doesn’t mean they’ll never have a puncture, the chain won't come off, they won't fall off, they won't have problems with the weather and so on. It means that they have the resources that they need to handle those minor interruptions and, because they have the resources, they can continue cycling and continue liking it. If they didn’t have the resources, then they wouldn’t continue liking it. 

What do you like about that?

The next step is to clarify, “What is it that you like about it?” We, and the client can discover the unique deep connection they have with this activity. It’s so enlightening, so helpful for us and sometimes it’s a discovery for a client to hear their own response to that question. If someone likes cycling and we ask them, “What do you like about that?” some people will like the exercise. Some people will like being out in the open air. Some people will like cycling because they get away from something - they’re on their own, while other people will like cycling because they can cycle with their friends - be with others as a way of connecting! So, until we find out what someone likes about their likes, we can only guess and we are likely to ascribe what we would like about that, completely missing what the client likes, which is the crucial aspect to know about. 

When we ask someone what they like about what they like doing, it’s like a window into their soul. We have a very intimate glimpse into who this person is at core and often that glimpse is not only for us. Sometimes the client is so touched by that that it can make a huge difference, just to make that connection. 

Rob