It may be enough, when we find out about what the problem is and how come that’s a problem. It might become apparent where to go from there. If someone says, “I can't go to sleep,” then we know what's missing for them is likely to be going to sleep. But it can also be very helpful at times to ask specifically if it’s not clear, to explore with them, “What is it that’s missing for you? What is it that, if you were to have access to it, you would be okay?”

Different ways of getting some clarification about what's missing for a client, apart from simply asking directly, “What's missing?” is to ask a miracle question. “If a miracle happened and, while you were asleep tonight, the problem resolved, you'll wake up in the morning and, because that resolution happened while you were asleep, you don’t know what it was, but you wake up, the problem’s gone. What's different?” And, if we listen to whatever the client says is different when they wake up in the morning and the problem’s gone this will give us a clue from what's present in their experiences of their resolution and to what is missing or absent in the problem. 

We can ask, “If you were to have some therapy here and at the end of that last session, you say, ‘I don’t need to see you anymore,’ what would be different?” This is another future-paced question that takes the client to the experience beyond the problem to when it’s been resolved, to look at what's different then. And again, if we listen to what’s different at the end of therapy, it gives us a very good clue about what is missing at the beginning of therapy. 

These questions all help to clarify for the client and for us what's missing so that then we know what to look for with greater precision, how to explore their experience and in their likes, where we know the resource will be, to be clearer about exactly what it is we’re looking for so we have a better chance of finding it. 

Now that we have some clarity about what's missing for each individual client, and we know where to look for it, the stage is set. We’re ready for respectful and easy hypnosis so that the client has a chance to allow their own unique solution to emerge through making their own unique connections from within their own unique experiences. 

When I first began this work, I usually spent the first session gathering as much information as I could - full name, address, date of birth, place of birth, place in the family, educational experience, when the problem began, what made it worse, what helped, what treatment had already been tried, etc., etc., etc. so that when they came for their second session I’d have all the information I needed. The problem was that, because of my poor handwriting, I couldn’t read some of my notes, and the client’s experience had changed in the interim!

Now I prefer to gather just enough information to make a beginning - what do you like, what do you like about that, what’s the problem, what is it about that that’s a problem to you, what’s missing … and start from there. Rather than details historical notes, I prefer to record words, phrases, metaphors that each client uses so i can remind myself to include these in our conversations. This creates an experience for each client that we are speaking their language, which we are, adding to the quality of the relationship.

I have found that if we can make a start, and create a helpful experience, however small, that the client can leave with a solid sense of accomplishment which sets up future learning opportunities with us or independent of us.

So let’s begin ….

Rob