We humans are relating beings. Our relationships are the major source of joy and pain. Some therapist are reluctant to work with couples because they say that it’s difficult enough working with one person, but two …!!!

I have found that if we approach a couple as an entity, we can ask the couple “What do you like to do as a couple?”, “What is the problem for you as a couple that you want to have some help with?”,  “What’s missing for you as a couple that if you could have it, you’d be OK as a couple?”

These questions avoid being diverted by conversations with two individuals where we can find ourselves cast as judge and jury, where nosy wins and we suffer. Instead, the responses to these questions, just as with individuals, helps to shift their experience from problem to solution.

Also, if we invite a couple into hypnosis together, they then have a shared experience which can be pleasing, and can be the beginning of discovering other shared experience that can be pleasing.

The result of this approach is often a complete resolution, and even a transformation where instead of having to accept a compromise as in mediation, they can each and both have the pleasure of a shared resolution with shared satisfaction.  

Rob McNeilly

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Rob