We know instinctively, and research confirms, the contribution of the therapeutic relationship to effectiveness in out work.

This creates the question “How can we create this relationship?”

Clients have a good nose for sniffing out pretence, so any technique is likely to fall flat.

I have found that if I put aside my personal judgements and prejudices, the relationship becomes one of genuine mutual respect, naturally and helpfully.

Another experience I have found helpful is to coordinate my experience with each client. I can breathe in sync with them, or blink, or subtly place my body in a mirroring of their body position. Maturana claims that communication IS coordination of action so coordinating our actions with a client can create an experience of communication, of rapport, of mutual trust.

A third process is noting and using a client’s key words and expressions, even pronunciations. This can create an experience within a client that we are speaking their language, which we are.

If you’re interested, I invite you to explore ways that you can play with these ideas.

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Rob