Once we have helped someone to find their missing resource, the key to dissolving their problem … then what?

Sometimes the experience of connecting with this previously missing resource is enough so a client can have an epiphany, sometimes actually leaping to their feet, knowing that they are OK! When this happens it can be as surprising to us as it is wonderful for the client.

Of course this doesn’t happen every time - although we can’t help wishing it would.

Within the client’s experience of connecting with their previously missing resource, we can make what might seem a psychotic statement. Say the experience the client likes is horse riding, and say the missing resource is trusting a plane so they can fly comfortably, we can make this statement … “Flying in a plane is like riding a horse”. If we can put our logic aside for the moment, some clients will make the connection, sometimes easily as if it were obvious, however weird it may seem to us. Once the connection is felt by the client, they are up and running.

Also, instead of us making the connection in this very illogical way, we can ask the client “What is it about this experience in your likes that could be helpful for you in finding your solution?”. This question is an invitation for the client to make their own connection, and since it is theirs, it can sit more easily than something imposed from outside.

If none of this helps to connect the newly experienced resource to the problem, we can bring in the wonderful possibility of learning. To piggyback on the plane and the horse example, we can say something like “When you first learnt to ride a horse, you may have had difficulties, but somehow, you learnt, and now you can ride with pleasure and all the difficulties you may have had can be forgotten. In the same way, you can learn to ride a plane and look forward to forgetting the problems that you used to have.”

So here are 4 ways that can lead to the connection of the missing resource towards the solution -

1 It can happen spontaneously

2 We can speak the connection into existence

3 We can invite the client to make the connection

4 We can invite learning

If you’re interested, have a play with these alternatives, and be willing to be surprised with what happens.