My next book "just do good work -“what” and “how” for therapists after Erickson" explores the hows and whats supported by some sources.
The first how and what I'm exploring is the gift of expectancy.
A little girl asked her father to take her to the shop so she could have an ice-cream. It was Sunday and he wasn’t keen and said that he wasn’t sure if the shop would be open. She opened her big blue eyes and with a cute smile said “You never know!”. They went, the shop was open and the daughter had her ice-cream. Her ice-cream came from her mood of expectancy, not the shop, and certainly not from her father’s opinion.
All problems occur in a mood of resignation. Clients don’t come saying that they have a problem and they know that at any moment it is going to vanish! They always know and often say that they don’t see any way out of the dilemma, no possibility of solving it, and this mood of resignation is a fundamental component of any problem, and an important source of stuckness in any situation.
What will be missing, then will be the possibility of resolution, of a solution, but stating that will only add to the stuckness implying that not only is this person defective, since they have the problem, but also stupid since they can’t see something that is obvious to us. The only way that a possibility has any chance of becoming available, visible, and so accessible, is if we can invite a different mood - one of possibility, of expectancy.
We know that moods are infectious, and unless we take care of our own mood, we are in danger of “catching” a client’s mood of resignation. If we begin with our mood of expectancy, this can inoculate us against catching the client’s unhelpful mood and set up the possibility of them catching our expectancy.
One of the most useful ways of putting ourselves into a mood of expectancy is simply to be open to the possibility that something useful can happen at any time for no apparent reason.
We all benefit.
That's good Rob and very inspirational. I know from personal experience how a client's mood of resignation affects me to the point where I don't know the next step to take. Please note in paragraph 3 you have 'taker' instead of 'take'. Was this intentional?